


Letters From The Lost

by parksalvarez



Category: Legacies (TV 2018), Penelope and Josie - Fandom, Posie - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-09-23 21:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17087780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parksalvarez/pseuds/parksalvarez
Summary: What do you do when you lose the one person that you care about the most? Penelope Park is still learning how to live her life after the sudden death of her best friend, ex-girlfriend and forever love of her life, Josie. It seems impossible for her to move on from the event that took Josie from Penelope. But then Josie's twin sister, Lizzie, finds 36 letters in their dorm room, all of them addressed to one Penelope Park.One by one, Penelope opens each letter from Josie; each letter entailing something different but all showing just how much Josie truly loved Penelope and that, given the choice, she would've never left her.





	1. Prologue

Josie Saltzman's life was considered special. Her existence changed and impacted lives so it only made sense that her death did the same. Her death would've broken everyone's hearts all the same if her death had been expected but the sudden nature of her passing made things all the more confusing, heartbreaking and reeling for her closest friends and her family; people like Penelope.

  
Ever since Josie met her, she had considered Penelope both. She was both her friend and her family. In fact, Penelope was everything to Josie and Penelope felt the exact same about her too; Penelope knew instantaneously just how special Josie was, as a person and to her. Josie's death tore everyone into two but it smashed Penelope's heart into smithereens.

  
When Penelope got the call from Lizzie, Josie's twin sister, about how Josie was injured and badly, it felt like her world stopped moving. Nothing else mattered, in that moment, except for Josie. She had been urged to go and see Josie as soon as she could but, before she could even leave her dorm room, another call came in from a sobbing Lizzie. Penelope didn't even need to hear the words. She knew instantly that her Josie was gone.

  
Ever since that day, nearly three months ago, it felt like her chest hadn't stopped hurting, her mind couldn't stop racing with thoughts of what could've and should've been. She felt like nothing really mattered anymore and that life without Josie wasn't really living. Everything just felt wrong without Josie by her side and it broke her more and more every single day that there was nothing that she could do to change the fate that life had handed Josie.

  
Maybe things would've been easier if her and Josie had resolved their feelings before she passed, but knowing that now she would never get the opportunity to tell her that she loved her, that she had always loved her and would never stop loving her was too much for her heart and soul to take. It was like, now, she was in a constant, unbearable state of broken-ness and there was absolutely nothing that anyone could do to stop that feeling or change it.

  
Since the funeral two and a half months ago, Penelope had hid in her dorm room, refusing to see or speak to anyone and she liked it that way. Everyone around her was heartbroken too and she couldn't stand to see everyone else sad and mourning - especially because she knew that they would be reminiscing about their best and fondest memories of Josie and that was something Penelope just wasn't ready to deal with yet. And, of course, there was the mindset that Penelope had been keeping inside of her head that, if she pretended hard enough and didn't talk about her passing, maybe it would feel as though Josie hadn't died at all. The feeling of loss and grief hadn't subsided at all, but that didn't stop Penelope from continuing to pretend as though pretending would make a difference.

  
Nobody really understood why Penelope wanted to shut herself away from the world and live in this constant state of denial; except for Lizzie. For the last three months, Lizzie Saltzman had been doing almost the exact same thing with an added trying to comfort her heartbroken dad. Lizzie refused to allow herself to grieve for her twin sister, she refused to acknowledge that half of her heart and world had disappeared into thin air without a word of warning because, quite frankly, she didn't have the time. Between taking care of her father, something she knew wholeheartedly that Josie would want her to do, and accepting kind words and gifts from strangers that didn't even speak to Josie once in her sixteen years of life, she convinced herself that grieving was a luxury that she just couldn't make time for (much to the dismay of her grief counselor and therapist).

  
But today, she was confronted with the reality of her situation; the reality that her sister was really and truly gone, when she returned home and her dad was in Josie's room, clearing out her things. There were boxes surrounding him, most of them donate boxes, and just like that it had hit her like a tonne of bricks. Her sister was dead and she wasn't coming back. Ever.

  
Her first instinct at her dad throwing Josie's things out was to scream, cry and throw a tantrum. How could he even think of getting rid of Josie's possessions so soon? But she decided to go with her second instinct - help him. After all, this was just as difficult for him as it was for her because, let's face it, he would never give any of Josie's things away if there was a true possibility of her coming back. Him doing this was just his way of showing acceptance of her death and, in a way, that made Lizzie proud of her father.

  
It took many hours but, eventually through tears and team work, they both managed to clear most of Josie's room out. They had left her pictures up and her often-worn clothes hanging in the wardrobe but they had managed to sort through most other things. Alaric had decided to take a break, he had cried so much that he had begun to feel excruciatingly exhausted, but Lizzie pushed through her surge of emotions.

  
As she was about to call it a day, she saw a stack of envelopes hiding behind Josie's large vanity mirror. With a furrow of her brow, she reached behind the mirror and pulled them out. She unraveled the string holding all 30+ of them together, intrigued into whether one of those letters was maybe written for her. But none of them were. Each and every one was written to the girl Josie had loved until her dying day; Penelope Park.

  
Lizzie sat down onto Josie's bed, tears threatening to spill down onto her face, pulling out her phone and dialing Penelope's number. She didn't answer but Lizzie was unsurprised. She had been hiding from the reality of Josie's death almost as much as Lizzie had been and talking to anyone, let alone the twin sister or her deceased ex-girlfriend, would've been too much for her to handle at this point in her not-grieving process. She tried twice more, hoping that maybe Penelope might take a hint that it was important but there was still no answer. So Lizzie left a message on her answering machine.

  
"Hey, Penelope. I hope you're doing as okay as you can be. Me and my dad were looking through Josie's things and I found a stack of letters that she'd written. There's so many of them but every single one of them is addressed to you. I don't know what you want me to do with them? I can leave them here, I can recycle them or, of course, you can have them. Just let me know what you want to do with them." She disconnected the call and only five minutes later, Penelope rang back.

  
_**"Drop by my dorm tomorrow. I want those letters, please."**_


	2. Letter One

 

It had been four days since Penelope had received the call about Lizzie finding the letters that Josie had written her and three days since Lizzie had dropped them off at her dorm room. But Penelope couldn't find the strength or willpower within her to open the first letter - it hurt too much.   
Every time that she looked over into the corner of her room where the stack of unopened letters sat, it felt as though they were burning a hole into her and every second they lay there unopened, she felt as though she was disappointing Josie.

  
It got to the point where she couldn't handle looking at them and so she shoved them into the deepest, darkest corner of one of her drawers in her beside table so that she wouldn't have to see them anymore.

  
But at 3am on Saturday morning, Penelope woke up with this feeling of missing Josie more than ever before; a feeling that made her long to converse with her in any way, shape or form. So, much to her own surprise, she reached into the bottom drawer of her bedside table, rummaged around and produced all 30+ letters.  
She took the first one, promptly labeled 'Letter #1', and turned it over. On the back was her name scrawled in Josie's handwriting. Who knew it was possible to miss something as stupid as handwriting?

  
Penelope slid her fingernail underneath the seal closing the envelope and opened it, pulling the letter out. It was only a page long, both sides written in the same handwriting that made her heart ache.

  
With her eyes closed and a long sigh, Penelope laid the pages out, the right side up and began to read.

  
_Dearest Penelope,_

  
_What a bizarre way to start a letter. I don't think I've ever started a letter with the word 'dearest' but, as they say, there is a first for everything._  
_If you're reading these letters, it means I'm gone. Either that, or you snooped around my room but I'm guessing it's more likely the former; especially what with my dangerous plan that I've had formed in my head for many weeks (more on that later, I promise)._

                     
_First of all, I want you to know that my death is not your fault. I know you well enough to know that you will be blaming yourself and wondering if there was anything you could've done to have stopped me going through with my plan but let me tell you; there wasn't anything you could've done that would've changed my mind._

  
_My heart had been set on doing what I've made the decision to do for a long while now and nobody, not you, not Lizzie, not my dad, could've altered that. And if I'm gone right now while you're reading these letters, it means that my plan worked, but as I said, I will explain all of that again._

  
_Second of all, I want you to know that I love you. This is probably the most important thing for you to know in the events following my death. I did not choose to go through with this plan to hurt you, but to protect you. I did this to protect you and every person that I care about._

  
_I'm so sorry that you are grieving for me right now. I'm sorry that my death has caused you pain but please know that I didn't want to leave you. It was not a choice taken lightly, it was not something I ran into headfirst without giving a second thought. It took many sleepless nights to come to the decision that I have come to and, although you may not feel like it is right now, it was the right decision._

  
_Leaving you was never something that I wanted to do. Believe me, it breaks my heart just as much as I'm sure it has yours because I would have loved to spend the rest of eternity with you, loving you. But things happen. Life gets in the way of our plans. This was something unexpected but something that needed to be remedied and I was the only person who could remedy it._

  
_And lastly, I want - no I need - you to know that I am always going to be with you. As witches, we know that there is an afterlife and that our loved ones that have passed on will always be with us, watching us, in some way or another. The same is true for me with you._

  
_There is not a day that will go by that you won't be able to feel my presence, that you won't be able to know that I am there. I will hold your hands through the hardest of times, I will wipe away your tears and I will be telling you that I love you every time that you doubt how much I really did._

  
_You might not be able to see it. Some days you won't be able to feel it. But my presence will always be right there, by your side, through everything until you join me over here on the other side._

  
_I think that's everything that I want to say in this first letter. I don't know where all of this is going to go or the total of letters that I will have written for you (and we both know that I'll probably babble for a while in each letter) but I hope they provide answers, relief and comfort to you. I would hate to think of you in more pain than you know how to handle._

  
_I love you, Penelope Park. Forever and always._

  
_Josie Saltzman_

  
_PS: Please look after Lizzie and Alaric for me. I know they'll try to look after you (and everyone else) for a while but this is going to weigh heavy on them for some time. They need love and support. I know you'll do your best to care for them given the circumstances. Please tell them that I love them, too._

  
Penelope put the letter down, tears that she didn't even realize she had shed rolling down her face.

  
"I love you too, Josie. I'm never going to stop." She whispered to the empty room before her; but she had faith that Josie had heard that. She just knew it. 


	3. Letter Two

The next morning, Penelope woke up to a small shaft of sunlight creeping through the crack in her curtains. It was the first time she'd seen any sun in the months since Josie had died and, somehow, it felt as though it was Josie.

  
Rubbing her eyes, she fumbled around her bedside table seeking the next letter. She felt the rough paper in between her fingers and pulled the clump of letters onto her bed. Moving the first one to the side, she picked up the second, inhaling a deep, shaky breath before she tore open the envelope that contained her next letter.

  
Somehow, her eyes were already filling with tears without even having to read the first line of the letter.   
"Snap out of it, Park." Penelope told herself, sternly, both of her hands shaking as one pulled the letter up to her face, the other wiping the lone tear away from her face.

  
_Penelope, my love_

  
_Yes, you guessed it. I'm trying (and failing) to think of a different way to start each of these letters. This is only the second letter and already I'm struggling so, we'll see how this goes._

  
_In this letter, I wanted to talk to you about our first kiss. I know, we're going back in time a little bit here but, honestly, it's one of my favourite memories between us - I'm trying not to cry as I think back on it for the millionth time._

  
_I'm sure you remember it clearly too (or, at least, I hope that you do) but that's all from your perspective. I want you to know it from my perspective too._

  
Penelope put the letter down for a second, closing her eyes as she envisioned their first kiss.

  
In all honesty, it was the memory that she came back to time and time again. She dreamt about it, when she was sad it was what she thought about to make her smile again. It was the start of them. It was how she came to realize that she truly loved Josie Saltzman.

  
With the beginnings of a small smile gracing her face, Penelope picked up the letter once again and began to continue reading.

  
_That day had been a difficult day for me. I'd had an argument with my mom, Lizzie was out with my dad and I felt alone. More alone than I had in a really long time. But then, you happened._

  
_I walked out of school, feeling like crap and wanting to go home, stuff my face with ice cream, watch a bunch of sad movies and cry until I either felt better or fell asleep. But then you sauntered over to me, looking beautiful as you always did and asked me if I was ok._

  
_I don't know if I was giving off sad vibes or whether you were just already in sync with how I was feeling (you know, you always knew when something was wrong with me from day one. Even when we were just friends. Maybe that was what it was.) but just that one question made me burst into tears._

  
_Nobody had ever really asked me that before. I just dealt with my emotions second and took care of everyone else first. Yet, here you were, asking me if I was ok and, for the first time in my life, I didn't know the answer to that question._

  
_The details from hereon are a little bit hazy - I'm pretty sure I blocked them out because it was super embarrassing - but I do remember that I shook my head and you wrapped your arm around me and invited me out to go and get a coffee._

  
Penelope felt a small laugh come out of her mouth as she remembered that moment too.

  
What Josie hadn't mentioned in this letter, however, was that her first instinctual reply was "but I don't drink coffee." How she hadn't gathered that this was Penelope attempting to get her to say yes to going out with her was something that she had never understood but, eventually, she said yes after Penelope had promised her a hot cocoa.

  
Penelope's heart began to swell at the memory as she continued to read the letter before her.

  
_We went out for 'coffee' (by coffee, I mean that we both drank hot cocoa) and we spoke for hours. The evening turned into nighttime and, before we'd even realized, the coffee house was closing and they were kicking us out._

  
_I remember it so clearly. You asked me if I wanted to come back to yours to continue our conversation and I said that I should probably get home before my family started to wonder where in the hell that I was - which you understood._

  
_You went in to kiss me on the cheek and I pushed you away, thinking you were going in for an actual kiss. (Yes, before you ask, this is still the most embarrassing moment of my entire life.)_

  
_I remember you laughing and saying that you were only going to kiss me on the cheek because you're a gentlewoman. There was a pause where we just stood, staring at one another, before you asked if I wanted you to kiss me and I didn't say anything. I just stood there, in shock._

  
_Nobody had ever wanted to kiss me before so I began to wonder if this was just a cruel joke, if I was being pranked. But, still, I nodded. I didn't even say anything, I just nodded._

  
_And then you leaned forward and kissed me._

  
_It was like a movie moment, for me at least. There were fireworks, sparks, the whole shebang. Everything fell into place and I forgot the mess of the day that I'd just had._

_Then you told me you'd text me later. Which you did._

  
_But I went home, happier than I'd been in a really long time. I was dreading going home because I knew that I'd be alone. But when I got home, my whole family were there and I just couldn't stop grinning like a total loon._

  
_You never stopped making me smile like a fool after that day. Up until the moment that I died, you never, ever stopped making me smile - a smile that was only reserved for you._

  
_Penelope Park, you have made me the happiest person in the world. I hope you know that._

  
_Yours always,_

  
_Josie_


End file.
